*ducts tapes my laptop together*
*duct tapes my life together*
isnt that what i said
(via microwavechickennuggets)
Look, if you nicely tell me that swearing makes you uncomfortable and you politely ask me not to, I will stop immediately and speak nicer than a nun.
But if you start acting like you’re on some fucking high horse, or telling me that I’m going to Hell for talking the way that I do and you can’t “be around that kind of language” then you can bet your motherfuckin’ ass that I’ll be fucking cussing like a cunt-fuckin’ sailor you maggot-ridden piece of dick.
(via loveyoudelrey)
if you locked your boyfriend and your dog in a trunk for a week and then opened it the boyfriend would probably be pissed but the dog would be happy to see you also known as reasons why dogs are better than boyfriends
(via loveyoudelrey)
who is tyler and what did he create
(via microwavechickennuggets)
Every time I think of the black market, I actually imagine a market, with little stalls selling illegal things like nuclear weapons and organs.
(via thefallenassbutt)
i went out to eat lunch with my mom and i forgot what a knife was called so i asked the waitress for “one of those things that you use to stab people with”
(via thorarinsdottir)
